this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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