and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
