I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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