Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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