Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
