She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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