I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
