I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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