people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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