Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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