Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
