I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
