Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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