You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
