Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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