i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
