My underwear smells like fireworks.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
