If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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