Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
