but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
