Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
