I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
