so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My breasts were aching with rage.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
