i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
