He had one of those small greek statue penises
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
