hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize