mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
