allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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