You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
