did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
