I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The power of my boobs compel you
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
