There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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