If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
