dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
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He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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