So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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