i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
