what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize