But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
