Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
