i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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