I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
