the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
