I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
