dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
