So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
