I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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