best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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