I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
