Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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