you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
