No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
