I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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