Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
