There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
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I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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