whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize