I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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