i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
