the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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