i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
