I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
