Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
