Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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