I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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