Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
